RCBlazer
Aug 31 2005, 12:28 AM
Game: Revenge of the Anal Probe
Creator: Scott Holmes
Genre: WTF?!
Description: Try and guide Cartrman though some insanely confusing levels!

Rating: 27%

Review: I was skimming through the games lists to see which one I could review, when I saw a game called "Revenge of the Anal Probe" which according to its download page was the highest rating game of the website Legions of South Park before it closed down. It is also said to be almost unplayable due to the bad enguine and layout. I decided to see for myself what kind of game this was, so I downloaded it and played it. All I can say is this: It earns its place in the "WTF?!" genre of South Park games.

The game opens with the crop circles made up to look like "Tom Sellek", then the game title with options "Introduction" and "Play the Game" The introduction takes you to an area in the skies. After having Cartman airwalk over to the key in the middle, a UFO appears and steals the key, then immediately Cartman is standing across the street from South Park Elementary, talking about the aliens! Heh, some intro; I have no freaking clue what the story is now, and the rest of the game won't make it any easier to figure it out...

Whether you watched the warped intro or skipped it by selecting "Play the game", you are placed in the first level, which has Cartman gathering keys while avoiding aliens and red lines. (What's with the red lines?!?!?!?) Cartman must climb across ropes and walk and jump across barrels to get to the three keys before he can escape the level by grabbing the two tons of candy waiting for him at the bottom right. Touching an alien reduces you hit points by 1 (Cartman starts with 10) but touching the mysterious red lines will kill him instantly?!?!? The best part of the first stage is that on the far right, you can climb up a rope too high on hit the red lines above the barrels, killing Cartman instantly and having to start over. rolleyes.gif

After several broken attempts to clear this first level, I made it to the second level. This time, you have to guide Cartman across a maze of blocks and ladders (one of the blocks inexplicably has a bush sitting on it) while exiting the level through the top right corner. The first time, I was startled off the ladder into the deadly red lines on the bottom of the stage by the music waiting for me to get on the ladder before starting up. blink.gif

After making it through the second level, you arrive in a town. After I eventually figured out what to do. (All the decisions you make are completely blank, and the cave you're supposed to exit through got overlooked by me several times, mistaking it for part of the background. rolleyes.gif ) You wind up in the insanely hard "Land Mine" level. This level is next to impossible, and this coming from the guy who finished Planet of Cartmans 2 on the "Cartman Killer" difficulty!

After eventually making it through that level, I came upon THIS level!
IPB Image WTF?!? Indeed!

I cannot figure out for the life of me what to do in this level! The sawblades are the only objects that can actually hurt Cartman, and Cartman is the only thing that doesn't fly and bounce all over the place! What is the point of this level?!?

The game is for the most part very well done, but the one-two punch of absolute confusion and extremely frustrating gameplay really bring this game's score way down. If you want my opinion, don't bother, unless you're a masochist. (Like me wink.gif )