Junkman Aug 28 2005, 04:28 AM Game: ButtersBallz Creator: Beamer Genre: Arcade Description: Guide Butters, who's stuck into an enclosed arena which is rigged with ball-shooting cannons, into temporary safety, avoiding the balls as much as you can. Rating: 74% Review: The four South Park kids are waiting at the bus stop, as usual. As they discuss their usual morning dialogue and call Cartman an useless fatass... Butters come in to the bus stop, seemingly excited. STAN: Hey dude. You definitely seem happy today, Butters. What's going on with you? You managed to find pictures of Cartman's mom naked in order to blackmail him? BUTTERS: No! Even better! KYLE: You found pictures of Cartman naked, then? CARTMAN: Hey! You guys said that they disappeared for no reason! You better not have sold them to the 6th graders again! I'm sick of being called a pink piggie by those assholes! Errmm... I mean... what pictures are you talking about, guys? Seems intriguing... BUTTERS: That's even better! You know that neato keen community where there are people who supposely make games about us? Well, there are some gamers who have been willing to make games about me, at last! I'm already appearing in two games as for now, Butters Extract by RFI and this other game that has been released previously, which is called ButtersBallz! STAN: Oh yeah, that's definitely cool. I heard that there has been several games where Cartman get killed endlessly, so this community can't be bad at all. What is your game about, dude? BUTTERS: Well, this guy who refers to himself as Beamer, who happens to be an incredibly prolific game maker who released about 50 games so far, made an actually pretty interesting game in which I am stuck into an arena, trying to avoid balls that are being shot through cannons. I happen to have 9 lives and whenever I get hit by one of these cannonballs, I lose a life. By staying in the game longer, I earn more points as each passing second gives me 1 point and collecting those gems which randomly appear in the game 10 points! KYLE: I don't know, dude. This concept just seems way too basic to be fully enjoyable. It also sounds really repetitive, to boot. I don't see how could someone could enjoy such a game for long. BUTTERS: I thought so at first, but the game do get harder as it progresses, so this is not an issue at all! The ever-increasing game difficulty ensures that the game always is fun to play since you need better reflexes and an increased pace to stay in one piece, as the cannons fire faster and shoot faster projectiles. You also manage to gain extra lives at certain time intervals in order to keep you in the game for longer, so you have extra chances as well, thus making the game fair to play! STAN: That seems actually cool, now that you're talking about it. Is there a computer nearby so we can play it? KYLE: My house's just nearby, dudes. We could always play the game here. I do hope the game won't be too long to download, though. Games are always incredibly long to download these days. BUTTERS: Don't worry! The game's size is really small! Let's go, guys! CARTMAN: This will be lame... Minutes later... STAN: Damn, this game really is addictive indeed. It's also really challenging, as well. I'm really having troubles getting past Level 6 for the while being. The game really is a blast to play, though. It's simple, yet that's what makes it most likely enjoyable to begin with. KYLE: It's certainly fun, although there really are some timing issues with the game. For instance, whenever you get up to Level 5, the cannons suddently fire again in a really quick fashion as the difficulty level switches up, less than half-of-a-second after the level started. I'm not sure whether that's intentionnal or not, but I feel that this is clumsy from the part of the game's author. I'm pretty sure this could have been easily fixed and that looks awkward. BUTTERS: Yeah. That problem bugged me as well at first. However, a few plays later, I managed to overlook this minor issue. Make sure you get up to the final level of the game, it really offers a hell of a challenge due to the addition of a scary new obstacle. It never fails to give me shivers! This part of the game really is chaotic and exciting, I tell you guys! CARTMAN: Exciting? My ass it is! STAN: Shut up, fatass! You haven't even tried the game yet! How come you can even talk smack against this game? CARTMAN: Come on dudes, be real! This game sucks! Just look at the presentation! First of all, it's called ButterBallz. Like "Suck my balls"! The way the title is written is idiotic. Plus, the graphics really are basic and ugly; I would have never guessed those gray things on the side of the screen were cannons. How come not every part of the game frame is flashing up to the point of giving epilepsy? That's how every game should be! This fucking sucks, I tell you! The music and sound effects suck as well! This cannon sound is so annoying! Plus, this is most likely the only sound effect we constantly hear in the game at all! What else do we hear? Oh yeah, some blips! How cool! Not at all, assholes! Sure, we might get to choose from a selection of tracks for the game, but they're all from Sonic games! Who cares about Sonic, anyway? He's just a ripoff of my favorite game, Hitler the Hounddog! Sonic can blow my ass! KYLE: You fucking fat fuck! Haven't you learnt yet that presentation doesn't fully make a game, assload? Sure, the graphics are certainly not flashy at all and could have been a lot better, but they're not that horrible. As far as the music selection goes it's not original, but this kind of music will appeal to quite a lot of people since Sonic games have been known to always have great music. If people don't like the music in the game, they can simply choose to have no music playing at all and play their own CDs. Even you fat racist idiot can agree with the music department being pretty good, in the end. CARTMAN: Yeah... I guess. Still, why it is called ButterBallz? STAN: That's most likely the only thing Cartman is right about. This game's title really sucks. But hey, the rest of the game is really enjoyable in the end so it hardly matters. This is certainly not a groundbreaking title from this Beamer guy, but this game will surely be a good addition to any gamer out there who likes to play any sort of games. It's easy to learn, the controls are efficient and it's addictive like hell! Damn, I must have played the game 5 times already and I still want to play it. With the game being that small, you really can't afford to miss on it. It might have Butters in it, but the game is ultimately a pretty good one in the end. I definitely recommend it to any player who like quick arcade games. BUTTERS: Hurrah! CARTMAN: You guys suck, though. You are nerds for liking this game. Cartman suddently gets kicked violently in the nuts. A loud screaming noise is being heard, shattering the camera probe that has been following the kids during this review, thus losing the communication with South Park. Apologies to any of you readers who wanted more Cartman jokes about him being hurt or abused. The review team will try harder next time. Apologies. Tricky Sep 2 2005, 03:02 PM Game: ButtersBallz Creator: Beamer Genre: Arcade Description: Guide Butters in an arena with ball-shooting cannons as you try to dodge them for temporary safety Rating: 80% Review:In the game's overview, its pretty easy, just guide Butters (a character I rarely know) in an arena with ball-shooting cannons, you could say this one of Beamer's simplest, but nicest-ways-to-get-an-adrenaline-rush game, don't worry about lives, you start with 9 of them, and you get an extra one every 45 seconds, but if you are as stupid as bloodbird, you'll waste them immediately, there are also gems to collect as the appear every 5 seconds in the game, and it gets harder, and harder, and harder as you advance further, you can also select the track you want to play before playing the game,but the tracks are limited though, overall, it's cool wink.gif